Chalk one up for the old geezer

Today was a test session day for Bowie FSC.  The session itself was held at Piney Orchard rather than Bowie for reasons that are not know to me but no doubt had something to do with ice availability.  Since Piney and Bowie offer each other's skaters reciprocal treatment I didn't have to pay a "visitor's" fee like the last time I tested over at a rink near Laurel, Maryland.

With that bit of admin out of the way, I suppose I should mention that I was testing the Cha Cha, a Pre-Bronze level dance.  To me, the Cha Cha represents the last of the "easy" pattern dances; i.e. no turns and no backwards skating.  The end pattern is a little tricky with a cross in front immediately followed by a tuck-behind step.  These precede a sweeping inside swing roll, the momentum of which can take the dancing couple perilously close to the boards in the far corner as they attempt the two cross steps that mark the repeat of the dance.  But as long as one doesn't rush those steps, the dance itself is straight forward.  Having said all that, Coach A. constantly implores me to smile like I'm actually enjoying all this rather than hanging on for dear life--particularly when we're gliding passed the judges.  I occasionally humor her and manage a grimace.  Maybe when we test the Tango all this smiling and smirking can be put to rest...

Ice dancing seems to be on an up-tick at our rink.  Reviewing the final schedule I was gratified to see that ice dance testers outranked free style testers by a ratio of over 4:1.

Ice dances from Prelim to silver were being tested with the dancers split into three groups.  I arrived at the rink an hour before my group's warm up time and was informed that things were running about ten minutes ahead of schedule.  Coach A., my partner for the test, arrived shortly after that.  We were called to the ice at 12:58 for our six minute warm up.  I'm testing on the "masters" track (I'll take all the leniency I can get).  I need more like twenty minutes to properly warm up--and that should be followed by a sandwich, a beer and a nap. Six minutes!  I don't know what I'll do when I have to warm up for the harder dances which follow this Cha Cha.

Actually, they gave our group more like eight minutes since we were (a). ahead of schedule, and (b). one of the skaters was stuck in traffic fairly close to the rink.  She did make it.

So, after our brief warm up the testing began.  I was way down the skating order for my group and was scheduled to skate next to last (7th out of 8 skaters)--so much for the warm up!  There was a little drama when an early skater in our group had a spot of brain fade and "checked out" after two patterns of the Fourteen Step (higher level dances require three patterns plus a solo if one is doing the standard track).  Her coach/partner forged ahead, correctly assuming that they were going to start the required third pattern and as a consequence the skaters touched blades and he went down hard.  After he sorted himself out the judges permitted them to complete the dance. I didn't hear if she passed or not.

And then it was my turn.  At least the music was familiar.  During the second of the two required patterns I touched (my own) blades briefly but managed to stay on my feet.  After we got off the ice Coach A. said she was pleased overall but that I had skated with softer knees during warm up.  I always seem to put down my best efforts when it doesn't count!  There was nothing to do but wait for the runner to bring over my scores.  Much to my relief all three judges saw fit to give me passing marks--just barely passing marks--but a pass is a pass:

Pass

Pass

Pass

Zooming in on the judges comments:

"Knows the steps".  I certainly hope so!

Can't make out what the top comment is all about.  Something to do with the wide-step.  At least this judge liked the fact that my timing was ok and my dancing exhibited "some lilt".

"Slight rushing at times".  Almost got me in trouble when my blades clicked towards the end of the second pattern!

So, with the Cha Cha in my rear view mirror it's onward and upward with the dreaded wonky Mohawk required by both the remaining two pre-bronze dances.  Next up will be the Swing Dance.  My goal is to test that one before I turn 80.

Ta Ta and Smooth Skating!

Free at last: wherein your old diarist finally escapes preliminary dance purgatory

For the short attention span brigade:  Yesterday afternoon, I finally passed the two remaining dances to complete USFSA's preliminary ice dance level--and so onto the pre-bronze level dances.  Next up:  the Cha-Cha.

For the rest of my faithful readers (both of you) I'll drag things out a bit.

The test session was held at The Gardens Ice House in Laurel, Maryland.  This is a multi-sheet facility with an NFL sized sheet, an Olympic sized sheet and a curling rink.  I think there's also a small outdoors rink as well. The building is too long for my phone camera to capture in one pix.

Here's the Curling part which would have been to the left of the photo above.

I arrived early and was immediately diverted by this distracting sign.  Two hundred bucks is kinda spendy just to ride a Zamboni, but....tempting none the less.

First up were skaters testing Moves and Free-Style tests.  After an ice cut Coach A. and her coach started off the ice dance testers with the midnight blues.  Sadly she was scored "retry" which was surprising to me but then I'm just a low level tin horn who no doubt doesn't appreciate the intricacies of that level of dance.  None the less the result was a disappointment.  We spoke afterwards and she pointed out that there was an on-going free style session on the other sheet and knowing how long it takes me to warm up, and since I had thirty minutes before my group's time, that I should take advantage of the opportunity.  "Just keep an eye on the clock." was her parting remark.  I paid up, laced up,  got on the ice and warmed up my two dances--the Dutch Waltz which I'd been scored "retry" back in the spring and the Rhythm Blues, the last dance in the preliminary group.  It seemed I'd no more that settled in to practicing when I heard someone yelling my name.  "Hurry up!  They're ahead of schedule--we're on!"  Yes, Ma'am.  Where did twenty minutes go?

We clomped across the lobby in our skates to the other sheet and just caught the last couple minutes of my group's official warm up.  With just enough time to plow through the two dances, I felt fairly good, particularly so with the trickier RB.  This was almost my undoing.  When we were called out for the test I suddenly felt kinda jittery.  We skated the two dances with lots of awkward scratching and clumsiness on my part.   I came off the ice knowing that my practice dances were much better that what I'd just skated in front of the judge. I silently cursed and wished that I could somehow swap them.

And yes, that's judge singular.  This test session had just one judge rather than the three judge panel that was in place when I tested back in the spring at Piney Orchard.  Apparently if the judge is highly accredited, only one is required.  I don't completely understand that, but that's how Coach A. explained it.  Getting back to today's test, after leaving the ice I figured if I passed the DW I'd be lucky.  I was mentally preparing myself for "retry" scores for both dances.  We clomped our way back to the lobby and took off our skates while waiting for the runner to bring the results from the judge to the registrar's table.  In due time they came. Coach A. went over and picked them them up and then showed them to me:

Technical comments: "unison is nice, occasional flat edges, good extension and posture" Timing/Expression comments: "nice expression."  Somehow I not only passed the Dutch Waltz, but...

against all odds I somehow managed to pass the Rhythm Blues as well.  Technical comments: "nice x-behinds, decent edges, got ahead at the start but got into sync." Timing/Expression: "nicely expressed."

You could have knocked me over with a feather.  The Brits have a word to describe this sort of amazement:  Gobsmacked.  I was totally gobsmacked. I was convinced that I'd blown the test and skated my best effort during warm up.  But the judge saw things differently.  So after a long, slow slog I'm finally finished with prelim dances and can now contemplate ones at the pre-bronze level.  Pre-bronze--I guess that officially makes me a stone-age dancer.

The trouble with refinements

Refinements.  Just when I think I've got things under control with the two dances I'm scheduled to test this Friday Coach A. introduces yet another small refinement.  The trouble with late in the day refinements is that in the process of trying to incorporate them I inevitably lose control of the larger picture.  Free leg extension, toe point, holding edges for the required number of beats, the list goes on.  Yesterday we had our last lesson prior to the test.  Midway through, she told me to concentrate on timing rather than sweat all the small stuff.  I think that's wise since I won't get another shot at ice time before Friday.  The evening free-style session we use for my lesson was crowded and a bit frantic last night.  Lots of skaters were prepping either for tests or up-coming competitions.  One girl in particular seemed to have impeccable timing: she managed to blindly cross our path several times while we were partnered.  She always had that Bambi in the headlights look in her eyes, as if she was thinking "where in the world did you suddenly come from?"  No injury/no foul but I don't think we got in more than a couple of complete patterns of either dance.

It turns out that I'm not the only one with a dog in this Friday's fight.  Coach A. is testing the Midnight Blues, an International test level dance.  She indicated that she and her coach (yes, my coach has a coach--how great is that?!) had a good run through, a not so good run through and then a so-so one the last time they practiced.  She's passed four other International dances and her goal is to pass five of the ten currently on the list. She doing the ice dance equivalent of a PhD dissertation while I'm trying to move out of pre-school!   Fingers crossed for both of us. 

Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3...

Our scene: a USFS test session for pre-silver and lower ice dancers plus a variety of moves in the field testers.

The deal:  There are three judges.  You need passing scores from two to pass.  I'm testing two of the simplest dances. The Dutch Waltz and the Canasta Tango.  I feel good about one.  The other not so much.

I put it out there.

The outcome:  Three judges saw three different things.  Judge Nr 1 loved both dances and gave me passing marks for both technical and timing/expression.  Judge Nr 2 hated the DW but passed me on the CT.  Judge Nr 3 hated every minute of what I put down.  Well, maybe not everything--she did indicate that my timing was "ok" on the CT.

Bottom  line:  I passed the CT but will have to retest the DW.

Judges comments (DW):

Judge Nr 1: technical--"correct progressives, edges shallow but most defined as O.S.; good flow, P". (pass); timing/expression--"on time, P".

Judge Nr 2:  technical--O.S. edges are mostly flat.  Right foot O.S. edge is deeper than left. R (retry)."  timing/expression--"ahead of the music in several places. R"

Judge Nr 3: technical--" edges and patterns flat, no curvature to lobes, unison lacking. R"  timing/expression--timing rushed so a little ahead of the beat. R"

CT comments:

Judge Nr 1: technical--"shallow but correct; weak on free leg extension, P.";  timing/experession--"right on, P."

Judge Nr 2:  technical--"good pattern, please turn out free leg; ok pattern, some shallow edges, P."
timing/expression--"well timed.  P."

Judge Nr 3:  technical--"edges & lobes flat; stepping rather than stroking, R."  timing/expression--"timing ok, P".  (NB: one needs to get a passing score for both technical and timing/expression or the overall result is a fail.)

I'm sure that the comments do somehow accurately reflect my skating today.  The DW has always been my least favorite dance and I think it's because it's a six beat dance--you have to hang out on an edge like forever.  The CT is a four beat dance and things happen quicker, which is a good thing for short attention spanners like moi.

So it's back to the drawing board on the DW.  This helps keep my coach gainfully employed.

Now, the best part of the deal was watching the pre-silver skaters test the 14-step, the foxtrot and the European Waltz.  All the test takers were female and about two thirds of them had lined up Ian Lorello (a local male ice dancer, formally a Team USA member and currently a coach for the New Ice Age ice dance troupe) as a partner.  Ian danced with woman after woman without taking a break.  Awesome skating.  See if you don't agree:

Testing times ahead

Coach A. keeps surprising me.  First it was an out of the blue push to enter the ISI competition which I did last month.  At our final April lesson she mentioned that our USFSA skating club was hosting a test session on the 17th of May and that I should consider testing the Dutch Waltz and the Canasta Tango.  Some how I'd managed to block that piece of information out of my memory banks.  Testing has always been on my horizon but suddenly that horizon got a whole lot closer.  The deadline for submitting the application and payment of fees was the following Tuesday!  That night I printed out the form, filled in my part and gave it to diaristdaughter to take with her to her group lesson the coming Thursday (Coach A. conveniently is her group lesson coach) for the coach's signature.  She did so and brought it back.  In turn I mailed it to the Test Chair.  I saw the Test Chair over at Piney Orchard ice rink (Bowie is closed for annual maintenance) and she allowed as how my paperwork and check had been received.  Last weekend the test schedule was published and my name is on it (twice) so there's no backing out.  I will test these two dances, ready or not.

Ready or not.  That's a big assumption, but I suspect my coach wouldn't hang me out there if she didn't think I was close.  I know the patterns and I know the steps.  Timing is still an issue.

Over the past couple of lessons we've also been trying to get my feet to consistently do progressives rather than reverting to crossovers during the heat of battle.  Old habits die hard.  I seem to be making small gains in that department but will it be enough?  I have one more coached session and maybe one additional chance to get on the ice before the test date rolls around.  A test for a well prepared student is essentially nothing more than filling out a form and smugly turning it in.  I don't feel like I'm anywhere close to being that prepared.  I'm more in the position of putting 'em out there and seeing what the judges have to say.  It would be nice to put this pair of dances to bed so I could get back to working on the RB which has been on the back burner far too long.  I just wish I had a little more time to get test ready.

Finally.

Although I passed Ice Dance level 1 way back when (been so long I'd have to re-read my own blog to remember exactly when) and passed level 2 at the end of September, it took forever for the rink to order the badges.  I finally got 'em this afternoon at the start of a public session.  Better late than never!

Beyond that I can report that after putting slightly over 20 hours on my new boots and blades my single foot spin finally reported for duty this afternoon.  It was drunk and disorderly but at least it showed up.  My new boots are a half size smaller and the new blades are a quarter inch longer than the old equipage so the location of the spin rocker is in a slightly different place alone the blade.  I still haven't jumped in the new boots since the blades are still on the temporary screws; I haven't quite decided whether or not I'm happy with the blade position but I guess I'm growing accustomed to the place (sorry, couldn't resist).

On the benifit of testing

Granted, I'm typing this after too many glasses of wine, but I feel I must comment on the benefit of testing--if not for you, then for myself when I reread this.  For a couple of years, P. another adult skater, and I have been in group lessons.  I have gone up the ISI ladder while P. has not.  What is the difference?  Is it because I'm a more natural athlete than P.?  Or perhaps it's due to my earlier skating activity years ago?  To that I say HOG WASH.  P. is trimmer and more fit than I am, and prior skating experience means little at this stage of the game.  I think in a nutshell it is because I have driven myself to complete the various ISI levels including the "test" at the end.  P. on the other hand has not bothered.  He started off in hockey skates but has recently bought a pair of figure skates and has engaged a private coach, so I know that he's motivated about mastering the fundamentals of figure skating.  But he has never bothered to test.  By test I don't mean the formal test one does before a panel of judges, for example during a moves in the field test, but simply the demonstration one does in front of the group lesson coach to show that the student has indeed mastered the entire core set of elements which define a given ISI level--at least at some minimal level.

Ever student has his strengths and  weaknesses.  P. can easily do most of the skills required to pass several of the ISI levels such as Alpha, Beta and Gamma but he can't do certain skills in just about every one of those levels.  He refuses to test, and avoids refining specific skills, but yet wonders why his skating doesn't seem to improve.  My answer is because he doesn't test!  Every skater has elements which are difficult stumbling blocks and also elements which come naturally.  I am convinced that it is the stumbling block elements which teach you the most and permit you to advance.  If you avoid mastering, for example the T-stop, your skating will not advance, not because of the lack of that single skill but rather because the skills to which that element contributes beyond itself do not grow.

This is very much like when I was in grad school.  A number of us were in classes together.  Some of us were in defined programs and would sign up for credit and thus a grade at the end of the course.  Other students just "audited" the course. Those of us who were under the gun for a passing grade learned much more than the auditor students.  For us it was master the material or be washed out of the program.  Because of that, those of us who took a given course for a grade did whatever it took to master the material including coming to grips with the material which we didn't understand.  We reread our notes and cleared up uncertainties either by discussions among ourselves or by confronting the instructor.  For the causal auditors, if they learned something, anything, that was OK.  My  suspicion is that if you confronted those causal students a month after the course ended and grabbed them by the scuff of the neck and asked them pointed questions about the course material, they would have not been able to tell you the correct answers.  Bottom line: testing FORCES the student to dig in and really master the skill.  Any effort less than this will be as rewarding as kissing your sister.

But back to skating.  Time and again I find myself butting into one or two elements of a given skill level which stubbornly take months and months to master after I've conquered the rest.  It's infuriating, but it's the mastery of those impossible elements that pushes my skating skills forward.  The breakthrough generally goes well beyond the test itself and surprises me in how other related skills seem to magically improve.  Will my skating friend P. ever get this?  Maybe his private coach will hold his feet to the fire.  I can only hope so.  Geezers our age don't have time on our side.

Finally. I. Passed. Free-Style 1.

 Ta Da...

It only took me 32 years, but  I am persistent if nothing else.  Of course I probably should deduct all the years in between now and 1981 when I finished my Masters degree at the University of Delaware and moved to the University of Maryland before I was ready to test on the ice.  In those days Maryland didn't give a hoot in hell about figure skating and even now skating is a limited sport at UM.  Perhaps a more meaningful metric is that it took me almost exactly a year to move from Delta to FS-1.

So now I get to brag a little: how many skaters can claim they're better in their 60s than they were in their 30s?  Of course it helps to have a relatively small hill to climb, but bragging rights are bragging rights! To be honest, I did have to retest on one element: the two foot spin.  During my "program" I only got five and a half rotations of the required six revs.  Upon retesting I somehow managed stay off my drag picks long enough to squeak out the missing half rotation.

Up to this point most of what I was encountering during lessons was familiar territory.  Perhaps introduced in a diffrent order and taught in a different way from back in the 70s but still noddingly familiar.  Getting my body to do some of them again took a lot of convincing.  Beyond this point lies terra incognita.  How many rungs will I climb on the Free-Style ladder?  Good question.  I tend to take things a rung at a time so not to become too dispirited.  My current group lesson instructor told me that I'll hate FS-2, not because of how she judges my potential but more because all of her past students have struggled with this level.  I plan on engauging a coach for private ice dance lessons as well as continuing with FS in the group. With my current minimum of accumulated skills, I think now is the time to explore whether or not I have the musicallity to skate and chew gum at the same time.  We shall see!

Free Style 1: Still a work in progress

 

Today was the last group lesson of the current set which I signed up for back at the beginning of this month.  We did skate our program and afterwards coach Mike handed us our assessments.  None of us passed but all of us made progress.  For comparison, above are my two scores.  The first is from January of this year and the second one is from today. Back in January I got a passing mark for three out of the six FS-1 elements (5 is the minimum passing mark for a given element).  Today I increased that to passing five out of six.  The only thing holding me back is the 1/2 flip jump, but since I've discovered how to make my boots snug I'm confident that both the jump and the left FO3 turn which proceeds it will quickly improve.  On Wednesday, 1 May, our rink melts the ice for two months in order to do annual maintenance of the building and ice making machinery.  I'll skate when I can at other rinks and I plan to enroll in group lessons during July and August.  Hopefully I'll be able to get over the top of  FS-1 before I'm 90!

Free Style-1 Programing Continued

OK, the district championships are over and while they were great fun to watch, coach Mike says it's time to get back in the harness (figuratively--I'm not advanced enough for the jump harness).  A couple posts ago I outlined the first half of our FS-1 test program.  You can refresh you memory by clicking on the link in the preceding sentence if you don't want to scroll down a noodge.  Last Saturday he gave me and my three foot tall classmates the rest of the moves.  The kids quickly caught on but I realized that I'd need some practice time to knit all the parts together without ploughing a furrow.  With only a couple of lessons to go the heat is on.  So it was off to a couple of public sessions earlier this week.

Recall that our program left off with us doing a forward spiral and dropping into a lunge.  The last half picks up at that point.  We rise from the lunge, do a couple of forward inside edges and then a forward inside Mohawk which places us in position to do our required outside and inside back edges.  From the last back inside edge we step around and do a waltz jump, then a couple of back cross-overs, step into a two-foot spin and finally stop with a presentation pose.  The required elements for FS-1 are the forward pivot, back inside and outside edges, the waltz jump, the half-flip jump, a forward spiral and the two-foot spin.  The lunge, forward and back cross-overs, forward edges, Mohawk, etc. that knit the program together are from lower test levels and are not graded--which is a good thing.  That blasted ccw Mohawk cost me a broken radius last year.  I'm rigging the order of my forward edges to set me up for a cw Mohawk instead!  We'll see if Mike buys it...

Monday afternoon I got to the rink and saw one of my classmates.  Lydia, smiling as ever, quickly got down to practicing the program.  I was distracted by a couple of adult skaters and instead of working on the program I got involved in learning the steps for the chassé which of course has nothing to do with the business at hand. 

Now the several figure skating books that I have attempt to explain the chassé but either they don't get the job done or I'm a poor reader because I could never quite figure out what now seems to be a simple sequence of a stroke, followed by lifting the skating foot followed by another stroke by the original pushing foot.  This is followed by the same steps but with the roles of the feet reversed: push, lift, push; push, lift, push.  I circulated the rink practicing this over and over, mesmerized by the rhythm of thing.   I guess it was one of those elements I just needed to see done on-ice.  All this was a nice revelation and definitely worth learning, but before I knew it the session was over and I'd accomplished diddly-squat in terms of practicing the program!  Yes, I'm easily distracted, sigh...  Why is it that when you have a test coming up that almost anything but the assigned task seems so irresistible? 

Fortunately for me, Tuesday also offered a late afternoon public session and I was able to get away from the lab in time to take advantage of it.  Equally fortunate for me, neither Lydia or my adult skating buddies were present this day and with the rink almost deserted I got down to work. I was able to run through the entire program several times and iron out a few question marks that were part of my faulty recall when making notes after the lesson.  And it appears that my half-flip jump is slightly improved.  I think at this point if I can get the required six revolutions for the two-foot spin I just may be able to pass this thing.  Towards the end of the session I knew it was time to get off the ice as my ability to execute deteriorated.  At least I had the satisfaction of a couple of good run-throughs before my performance started to go pear shaped.  I'll get another shot practicing all this on Friday afternoon.

The remaining missing puzzle piece is the music.  This coming Saturday Mike will no doubt introduce that.  I'm not sure how I'll be able to practice timing the program to the music after the lesson unless I can download what ever he selects to my iPod shuffle.  Our test will take place on the last Saturday of the month, the 27th.  On the 1st of May the rink closes for two months.  It would be nice to escape FS-1 and have the last couple of skates before the annual shut down just to enjoy skating!  We shall see. 

Programs, Programs, get yer Program. Ya can't tella Knight from a Day without a Program...

My sincerest apology to Bugs Bunny for today's post title. This line bubbled to the top of my memory bank from the hours upon hours of watching "Loony Tunes" as a kid and I just had to steal it.

Today was my first class in a group lesson series billed "Free Style Program".  Basically this is a 45 minute Saturday class, spread out over the next four weeks that follows my power stroke session, so for once in my life I ought to arrive at a lesson warmed up!  The idea is to take skaters of similar free style abilities and for the first 30 minutes work on the skill elements that are part and parcel of whatever free style level they are attempting to pass.  The last 15 minutes of this class is devoted to stringing those isolated elements together in a pleasing-to-watch array set to music. 

Now this class is a bit different from the Adult group lessons diaristdaughter and I've been taking on Thursday evenings.  The class density is roughly the same but instead of having a broad spectrum of skill levels typically ranging from nervous board-huggers to free-stylers, this class was subdivided into skaters all at about the same level.  It was more like a true lesson rather than like being in a one room school house.  Our instructor didn't have to split attention between folks attempting vastly different skills.  Instead he could focus on specific elements within a given ISI free-style level and work all of us through a specific skill and after watching each of us attempt the skill have the luxury of time to break a given element, say the half-flip jump, into pieces for us to practice, according to our individual weaknesses.  As a result, my forward inside pivot greatly improved with the very first lesson and I now have a piece of the half-flip to practice the next time I'm at a public session.  I suspect this is why young, competitively driven skaters have private coaches!

Oh, and the other major difference between this class and my regular adult class is that my three classmates were "perky" and on average about three feet tall--the kind of skaters adults usually worry about tripping over.  Fortunately, for the sake of my ego, they weren't too much beyond me skill-wise!  The young ladies could all do pivots and two-foot spins more gracefully than I but my Waltz jump and back edges were better than theirs.  As the thirty minutes progressed we all worked through the half dozen required FS-1 elements: forward inside pivot, two-foot spin,  half-flip, Waltz jump, forward spiral and back inside and outside edges.

For the last 15 minutes of this 45 minute class our instructor told us we now needed to knit these skills together to form an interesting program.  We quickly ran out of time but so far our "program" is as follows:  we start off facing the long axis of the ice and do an inside pivot (two turns, then freeze facing the original direction) we then take a couple of forward strokes, do a couple left forward cross-overs into a left forward outside 3 turn which provides the entry edge for the half-flip jump.  The jump is followed by a couple more forward strokes and cross-overs to bring us into position for a forward spiral.  The spiral is followed by a lunge.  Time ran out and we still have to figure out how to incorporate a Waltz jump, the two-foot spin and the required FS-1 back edges.  That will be work for next Saturday.  After we have the basic program figured out the next step is to make it work to music.  Ah yes, the music.  I'm a little antsy about this.  Will the music be something classy or will it be something dripping with teeny-blopper angst? 

Now it's one thing for a grown man to attempt to do something "graceful" in the arm gesture department and something else again to do so while skating to music from the discography of, oh I don't know, maybe Miley Cyrus--oh the humanity!  The risk in all this is that some smart-aleck will capture the moment with a smart phone and with my luck the resulting video will go viral on youtube.  It's so true--one must suffer for one's art!  Programs, Programs, get yer Program!